2017- I planned to come back to finish the 100 miler and do it well. I worked hard from January through July- when I found out I was pregnant with my second son, Daniel. I felt a mix of gratitude and very odd sense of loss. I'd put so much work in, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world! I ran the 35 miler instead and had a chance to study that chunk of the course (for a future attempt at the 100 miler). I left after a fantastic weekend of running and volunteering in tears. Despite my joy and gratitude for the pregnancy I was afraid I'd never have a shot at the GA Jewel 100 miler as Jenny & Franklin were not sure the 100 mile distance would survive the 3 yr test period- there was chance at the time that 2018 might be the last go (due to cost vs turn out)…. And with only 6 months post partum to consider… well, that was crazy… right? I couldn't physically expect to do that? I couldn't ask my family to support that? Could I?
My husband Dave, looked at me and just said, Why not? You could do it? I said, "You know how much that'd be on you, with the boys?" The seed was planted though. I didn't commit, on any level, but I knew I had the support.
2018- Pregnancy sucks! Babies are awesome! There's a whole lot more there but let's just say I didn't begin running until June. All the running plans I worked on through my pregnancy, all my comeback plans were trashed. I had 3 months to train for 100 miles. That didn't seem impossible as much as dangerous, being post partum. Nonetheless I created a new plan that would push my limits and give me rest to heal. I focused on being able to hike, strength and ability to move through discomfort and boredom- Step ups (hours of step ups). Then mileage, but I had to just allow myself to be slower than ever, things would take longer than ever, but they did go. The training was working. I was improving, quickly.
September came and I was ready. I knew it, but being too confident is scary too, 100 miles is a long way and from 2016 and rough 26hrs at Pinhoti 100 in 2013, I learned it only takes one little thing to set off a chain of events that change the day. I couldn't be any more prepared, so I had many goals but the main ones were:
1. Finish this thing - whatever it looks like, crawl if you must, but get there… Time is not the goal, 24 would be great but 32 will do it
2. Don't give up on yourself because you are actually a good athlete, so don't let yourself forget that
3. Eat, keep eating, any time you begin to forget #2- it's probably because you're not eating, so EAT
4. Remember everything the race has already given you, give that back to every runner, every volunteer, every family/ friend out there
The Race
And so, 5 am Saturday morning finally came. We were off.
The climb began and a small pack of four or five of us began to ascend. Soon though, I felt I couldn't afford to not do my best at each moment of this run, I'd put everything into training for this and I was going to leave everything on the trail, even if I blew up later in the day, it was worth the risk, I knew I wouldn't quit (a personal vendetta is powerful force). So off I went. I passed the Powerlines AS at 5:32am ( a time in my head that was 8 min faster than I'd estimated) and it was dark and quiet. I entered the trail and popped out the gravel road that climbs the 2nd chunk of powerlines. I watched my heart rate to keep an eye on my effort and kept moving steadily. I was excited to see the trail entrance and began to run. I was doing what I'd heard Katie Arnold repeatedly say was her plan for Leadville, Flow & smile… and I just kept going. I had trouble not thinking about later, I kept reminding myself that later was in fact later and right now, I need to focus and just move easy, this was the warm up… the first 35 were the warm-up, not the race.
I hit "lonely water" right on "time"… (I'd created this time chart for "if everything went right" how I could do (maybe), it brought me home in 21hrs, which I thought was unlikely at best, but heck it'd be fun to try). I climbed and rolled along the ridgeline into dawn, gliding through the rocks and finally landing at Stover AS at 7:15am. The volunteers were not quite expecting any one yet, which happened to me in 2016 as well, so I just asked them to help me grab by pop tarts out my hydration vest and I placed them in my shorts pocket with plans to eat soon. So far I'd taken in plenty of food between Spring energy gels and Made by Nature Energy Pops. I knew the next section was soft, smooth rolling so I rode out the easy feel until the next climb. I was excited for the ridgeline through this section since I couldn't forget the long descent down to Snake Creek, where everything started to go wrong in 2016. I got to pass the entire 17 mile runners field which was a nice boost, even got to see my husband for a split second right before the final descent.
I rolled into Snake Creek and they too didn't have much at that point, but the exchange with Franklin and other volunteers was a boost. I refilled with water and Tailwind and took off again. The following section to Pocket road was tougher than I remembered, but it came back to me quick as I kept going up and up and then down, down and so much down… I remembered the hairpin turn right before dropping down to what was an unmanned water stop in 2016, then continued down until you run around the pond, cross the road and take the gravel road into the AS. This section took me an extra 15 minutes or so, which meant I was now about 20 min off my "dream plan pace" but considering how well I was feeling and moving through the course, I wasn't worried about it, just figured my estimates were too high… even at my best, this might take a bit more time. I had some Dr. Pepper from a volunteer, ate a bit and refilled by bottles. Already I was drinking so much fluid, the temperatures were climbing.
Then, the climb up John's Mountain… WOW, that was a lot harder than 2016, there was a lot more cliff sections and then a 12-15 foot rock wall to climb before it opened back up into a runnable trail. That climb had me working hard for sure, but I had 7.5 miles of pounding downhill ahead and the way I thought about Dry Creek, was that I had most of the day down there to move as best I could and actually recover from the climbing and pounding, so I went hard.
At the top of John's mountain I saw Ryan who always hosts the AS, at least since 2016 and we talked for a moment, I shared that I thought that rock wall was scary to imagine in the dark on tired legs and he said when I got back he'd go down with me if I needed it… he asked, "What time you think you'll be back up here?" I replied without hesitation, "My high goal is to make it back in time to see the sunset from up here" His eyes widened as he started to tell me that he didn't think that was going to happen… I admitted the goal was quite a reach indeed, but hey, it was worth a try…. A bunch of potatoes and pickle juice later I was pounding gravel, then trail, then more gravel until I came to a creek crossing and I peaked around for a way to stay dry but with none in sight I was just as happy to hit the cool water. I stopped and took a minute to cool my legs, arms and splash some water on my face. Back to running again within a couple steps and I was now close to Dry Creek (and I wasn't worried about any time stuff, not really, but I was about 45 min behind the high goal times already- mentally I was just trying to meet my goals for each section). I got into Dry Creek at about 11:45am.
At Dry Creek I was psyched to get there and see Brooke and the other volunteers, I knew Liz (my crew/pacer) wouldn't be there yet (or at least I didn't expect her to be). I did what I needed to and went out for Loop 1.
1- So much sun after the first 15 min of the loop which was well shaded. I had to walk as I was starting to over heat, I was moving well but WOW it was hot. I ran out of water before making it back. This time I added ice to the game and an extra bottle of water, pretty sure this is when Liz was there, but it's a bit of a blur…
2- This loop was easier to keep moving, there was more shade, I was amazed when I made it back in 75 min, I'd given myself 80 min for the loop, so I was thrilled. This time back at the AS I dumped the pebbles and seeds from the trail out of my shoes, but doing that meant I forgot to restock ice and the extra bottle, which I didn't realize until I was already out on…
3- Maybe the toughest loop. The shaded section felt cooler and the breeze was picking up a bit, but the heat of the day made it harder to recover. This section took me the full 80 minutes and had me so ready to sit for a moment and cool down at the AS, where Dave, my husband and other Crew, was there. I ate well and made sure to get ice this time, I NEEDED it to survive that last loop.
4- This one, I don't really remember well, I was HOT, it was easy running but I still needed some walk breaks, I was doing better than I thought though, moving even better than the last loop for sure. I made a mental note to take in the beauty on this section, the loops really were gorgeous smooth trail and I was about to head back up thick gravel and rock trails after this section. Last time back at Dry Creek. I switch from my Topo Runventures to my Terraventures and I was so happy when I did, the little extra support felt SO GOOD. In those 7 minutes of rest though, I felt so stiff, I told Liz I didn't think I could run out from the AS so she got me started which was life saving at that point.
The climb was 7.5 mi mostly ascent to John's Mountain. I debated poles but there was 2+ miles of runnable stuff before the climb even started so I opted to leave them behind. Once Liz had gotten me moving I didn't stop running, not even for the little climbs until I got back to the creek. There I knelt in the water and submerged 75% of my body and just enjoyed it for 2 minutes and then I hiked. The climb begins there and keeps going for a while, I could hike, I gave myself 2.5 hrs for this section, I grabbed a stick to walk with and that was perfect. I was so glad for my shoes and for leaving the poles behind. I started to look ahead and some of it really wasn't That steep, it was runnable and I'd run most of it pregnant last year for the 35 mile race, so I started jogging. I walked when I needed to, hiked plenty, but moved really well. Once I was back on the trail there was way more runnable sections than I could have imagined. On the way down it felt like I was descending 95% of the time, but there's a ton of flatter smooth surface in the section. There was so much I could run, I shaved so much time off here. When the trail opened back to the gravel road that would take me to the John's Mountain AS I was hiking strong. I kept hoping for the drive to get into a jog but it didn't come and was 45 min ahead of my best possible time expectations…. WAIT? WHAT? I'd been behind entering Dry Creek and kept exactly on pace or faster through all my loops… and now I was 45 minutes ahead. I couldn't believe it….
Then maybe the 2nd best moment of my entire race (the 1st was obviously finishing) was the look on Ryan's face when I tapped him on the shoulder and sarcastically said, "I told you I wanted to make it up here for Sunset" … his eyes wide, he almost looked like he'd seen a ghost, "What? You Can't be here"… I confirmed that I was in fact standing in front of him and that I'd promised Liz that I'd eat up here so he needed to feed me, please and quickly if possible… now that the idea of getting through the descent from the Mountain before sunset was a possibility I wanted to do that more than anything.
That descent was amazing, but I was so grateful to have my sight, I ran the section that was runnable then I carefully maneuvered over the rocks, cliffs and loose edges on my way down, continually feeling unbelievably grateful, in the dark it would have taken an extra 20-40 minutes on the section just out of caution… but instead I was back at Pocket rd, 74 miles deep and 14.5 hrs in. The sun was almost gone, but I was still hot, the humidity remained high even with the temperatures dropping a bit. Here, I finished the veggie burger Ryan had given me at the top. I still didn't eat enough over that last 2 hrs, honestly I made the mistake mentally of feeling like I was close enough to the finish I could stop force fueling (a common slip I'm sure, took me 24 hrs after the race to see this one) and although I didn't stop eating, I decreased from getting a good chunk of calories to getting just enough to keep going. The next section was smooth still, flowing & smiling, good running and power hiking.
Coming back into Snake Creek though, my legs were starting to get tight and sore. I figured it was fatigue (in hindsight- it was not enough food!!) I ate a couple bites of my avocado wrap and 4 oz of noodles/ broth. I insisted it was enough and was ready to go, leaving the wrap on the table … (shaking my head now) I said to Dave, "just toss it, I can't eat any more"… And we climbed out of Snake Creek…and climbed… and climbed…. It felt like that anyways. My energy levels waxed and waned between bouts of nausea which apparently was my body's way of begging me to eat. I would take a gel and would get more nauseated and then feel great again for 30 min before the next drop in blood sugar. With only 13 miles to go I was falling off pace and feeling exhausted. My mood shifted, I just wanted to make it to Stover. Liz was carrying the positivity and I just let her drive that train and just kept on moving with her.
Finally, Stover AS came and they had a little bit of noodles/ broth left, again about 4 oz and I claimed I was good to go, I had enough, I just wanted to finish. We took off again, but now my head was barely in the game. Liz kept me going though. I never really hit a low, but I was barely holding on to a magnificent race and tired or not, hungry or not, I wasn't going to let go that easily. I just kept moving as hard as I could. I was sad to see my jog was officially slower than my power hike. I committed to the hike and we continued to hold onto 15min/ mile pace, almost all the way back to lonely water.
This dinky 4.5 miles tore at me. I started tripping for the first time all day, I was grouchy with the rocks, I felt a moment of actual sadness as I felt that depression of knowing you'd screwed up a great thing… but almost as quickly as it came , I mentally told that pathetic voice to Shove it! I spoke up and told Liz, I'm out of food and I'm slipping… she stopped me and poured a single last packet of Elctroride into my water bottle and shoved it back in my vest and said, "Drink it.. that's 80 calories, it's enough." I drank as much as I could and kept taking sips, but they started to space out too. Liz asked if I'd finished it and I realized I'd forgotten to keep drinking again. We were within a mile of the Powerlines AS and I was SO ready to be done so I dug deep. I drank what I could and when we hit the gravel road I ran the entire downhill and next thing I knew we were at the AS.
At Powerlines I scavenged for calories, I didn't eatmuch, I tried to eat some cheese- its but I couldn't chew them and swallow I was wasting so much time standing there chewing. I considered the fire ball shot, but voted to wait for the beer at the finish line, (been thinking about that at every AS for the last 10 hrs!) I voiced my struggle with not eating enough here but we all finally agreed it didn't matter, I was getting there no matter what now and so I took off running. Liz had chosen to not pace this section since she is running a 100 miler next weekend (Bear 100). I more than understood (as she probably shouldn't have even been covering the mileage she did with me) and was ready to push myself to the end.
I ran as hard as could safely run. In no time at all I was climbing Mount Baker. I was in a daze. I was certain I was just over 22hrs and although I didn't quite get my high goal, I was satisfied and ready to be through that finish line. The bottom of that climb felt so lonely, I couldn't see anything but a little bit of blue lights, at first it was silent, and then it was just a few more steps before the music was a quiet distant sound that grew louder and Liz was by my side again, matching my steps, slow as they were… but they kept coming, my feet kept lifting and then I was there at the top looking at the parking lot between me and Jenny at the finish line. I ran, hard again, it felt so good to run hard. I didn't think I'd cry until I saw Jenny, then the immense amount of work and effort came to an end with an embrace and my eyes filled for a moment, but something kept it together. Jenny told me I'd just finished in 21:03 and I was so confused. I had done my math wrong in my head for hours now. I finished in 21 hrs and 3 min….I did it? I actually did it?! I was ready, I went for it, but I actually did it?! I might be more surprised than anyone at the race… I'd done the math, but seriously?!? YES! Happy dance and weird catharsis… 3 yrs now I've been working toward those 21 hrs… and just like that (in hindsight of course) it's over.
I watched every other 100 mile runner come in, straight through the last couple around 2:30pm Sunday afternoon. Everyone out there was amazing! I'm so grateful for the run, the ability to do it, the physical part of doing it, the people involved, the trail, my family who watched my sweet babies while I was away, my running family and every single volunteer and spectator. Thank you all for being a part of an amazing Adventure!!
Now to recover and prepare for the next one….
